Are You In Control of Your Essentials & Desires?

“We are driven by five genetic needs:
survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.”
William Glasser

We humans are way too wrapped up in pursuing our fantasies, dreams and pursuit of happiness that we often create a living environment that we despise and try to escape from. We are hooked into believing that we won’t have more time or money in the future or that we won’t be part of the “in crowd” if we don’t spend NOW on this or that. To top it off we tend to do this to ourselves, like we are just a bunch of glutens for punishment.

We are constantly bombarded with the images of the “perfect” kitchen gadget, garden tool, sweater, house, yard or look and style; that we have no true idea what we ourselves actually like or dislike. As a result we are often like the hamster on the training wheel, running in circles and getting nowhere.

“Frugality may be termed the daughter of Prudence, the sister of Temperance, and the parent of Liberty”
Samuel Johnson

We convince ourselves that we can control the future, if we just get this or do that NOW. We fail to keep in mind that we humans basically control nothing but ourselves. The future will be what it will be.

For those of us that wish to be self-reliant or prepared, this distinction between needs and wants can be a major roadblock to our success.

"Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs
that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions."
Niccolo Machiavelli

A need is something you have to have, something you can't do without. A good example is food. If you don't eat, you won't survive for long. Many people have gone days without eating, but they eventually ate a lot of food. You might not need a whole lot of food, but you do need to eat.

A want is something you would like to have. It is not absolutely necessary, but it would be a good thing to have. A good example is music. Now, some people might argue that music is a need because they think they can't do without it. But you don't need music to survive. You do need to eat.

“Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it.
The more a man has, the more he wants.
Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.”
Benjamin Franklin

Our needs are relatively few, even from birth. We don’t need a lot of stuff, toys, gadgets, etc. The most basic needs you as a human require for survival are oxygen, water, food, clothing and shelter from the elements, clothing, food, love and understanding; we need friends and family around us. Anything beyond those are "wants".

When we cannot distinguish between wants versus needs, or if we can't identify a want as a want, we set ourselves up to live in a constant state of craving and disappointment.

“If you want to feel rich,
just count the things you have that money can't buy”
Proverb

We can see this when we look in our drawers, closets and kitchens. How many gadgets, trinkets and articles of clothing do we have that we really, really wanted when we purchased them, yet at best have only utilized once or twice in the last two years? These items were wants and desires and not needs or essentials.

There is nothing wrong with wanting these things. However we need understand that these things, in and of themselves, are not necessities to human life and often do not make us happy. Plus they are links in the chains that bind us to activities and jobs we ultimately despise or from obtaining our true goals.

“Life belongs to the living,
and he who lives must be prepared for changes.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Read on to learn how to identify the addictive cycle of "more" or "not enough" as well as tips on how to avoid it.

“A prudent man foresees the difficulties ahead and prepares for them;
the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences."
Proverbs 22:3

TNT